God..Please hear me...

Finally, my wait has been answered. But not completely answered. Still in the air. Results of the interview I went on December 21, 2010, missed out today, and the answer is a bit confusing for my head and hurt. "CALON SIMPANAN" Hadui .... at the moment I really need a job, this was the answer I received. Answers like this make me hopeless. I was a dead end road.

Lord ... help me .... indeed, I am very, very want to work, so I am not entirely, to rely with my hubby ... But actually, that's not the main factor I want to work. He can be fulfilled all my needed. Praise to God...but one thing is too hard, I can;t express here. My God .. if you don't want me towards the wrong way and harm my family .. take me to a path that can rescue the situation and that I respect. AMEN ....

Really Miss~

I'm in another mood ...

Today,my in law have each returned to their respective homes. ya la ...because each is committed

to employment, and household affairs. Each have their childrens and husband to be managed.

A few days ago, the house was full of laughter and crying little babies ... sounds of children playing ... really fun. Especially for me and my son is 24 hours at home alone.Day-to-day routine is the same.

It would be nice .. if the house is filled with days of the voice, laughing, crying...of course,fun ... .. I am very tired .... I miss my home ... I miss the noisy situation ... I missed a lot ofthings . And an important point, I missed the peace and tranquility. especially privacy.

I am forced to be a Devil.

Howdy...

I hate the :-

1. hypocritical
2. double-faced
3. insincere
4. Jesuitical
5. two-sided
6. Jesuitic
7. two-faced
8. simon-pure
9. two-tongued
10. specious
11. double dealing

All the kind of it..., Since I was being treated such a way,

I can also do the same.I hate this so much, but since I was treated like a fool so damn stupid,

so I decided to give it back like what you gave to me.

p/s: I am so sorry. I am being Devil...-_-

Blurry of Life

It seems my life is still wobbling without a major goal. Feel sad ... another friend was happy with their lives, but I am still searching, and searching. I don't know when the searching would end. But certainly, I will not stop searching in my half way.

I also want to live with goals. Ashamed of my siblings when I had no fixed Job till now. I need to find my life. I don't want to hold the status as a full-time housewife for the rest of my life. I am not that... I have many goals in life are not met.... Lord give me guidance to start my steps. Amin...

The psyco Nurse

Today I went to the hospital because Dani was sick. He was cold and cough. Poor him ...

Wake up, as usual, I will provide Dani's Food. After that, give Dani eat, shower, and ready to the hospital. I like Dani looks cute ... Then it is my turn to shower and get ready ...

At about 9.30am, my parents came to pick us up. my hubby was in school. So I asked my sister, Betty to accompany me.

Today is Monday and so many patients are coming. almaklumlah .. Chinese New Year was a new low. CNY holidays meant the patient also holiday lah kali ar... I continue to the registration counter. Luckily Dani was still under 12 months. If not, I was forced to queue for registration. I was told to wait in the queue was placed in room no.4,and my queue number was 39. When I came, in the call number is 26. Ermmmm ...seems it still long. Waiting in hours, the stomach was feeling hungry. So I ask Betty to find meal. We just went to the hospital cafeteria only.

after eating, we continue to rush into the lounge room no. 4. I asked the aunt besides me, what is the numbers calling right now. The aunt says "number 49". Seems I have missed a turn. So I knocked on the door of room No. 4. and I ask, "Nurse,saya termissed nombor saya...nombor 39. The Nurse even with a relatively high voice and the face yang mencuka replied," Ko pigi mana tadi? I said "pigi makan nurse, saya lapar".EEeeee Geram betul sama tu nurse... I saw that nurse melebih-lebih pulak, The doctor just ok ja pun...and after the check and get a description of the medications, I said thank you to the doctor while glancing the nurse. Bikin geram. Minta puji lagi. kotoh!

I need a job!

At first, I was very happy when I no longer have to work and only need to devote my full attention on my baby Dani.
But now, I started feeling tired and very bored if I spend my full time at home, with the same routine.

No job also hard. No salary will be waiting to get into the account at the end of the month. No term window shopping, shopping and so on ... seems limited. Huuuuhhh...I need a job.

3rd February

Was even a year my father-in-law had died. I remember the incident today in the last year. Early morning, My SIL has called me. She delivered a call from Dr. Willian A/k Timmothy a kind of bad news. She was in haste to come home and told me that we all need to SMC, Damai ASAP. I told her that my hubby was still at school. I suggested that she leave before and i'll catch up with my hubby. My hubby can't be call because his school was in rural areas. No phone network.

I was keep wondering how is my in-law at that time. I continue waiting for my hubby with anxiety. In at 2.00pm and then, my hubby arrived. I keep telling this to him and we continue proceed to Kota Kinabalu. Before leaving my SIL has remind to me, to convey the news with good. Do not let him rush. Afraid my husband will drive fast, and also for the good of my pregnancy, which at that time almost 5 months.

Along the way, my hubby ask me to call my SIL to ask about my in-law's condition. I tried to calm him. Our journey is full of question marks. We arrived at Putatan about 4.00pm, but due to the traffic jammed, we caught up almost at 5.00pm.

when we dropped to SMC Damai, we accidentally met the doctor who treated my in-law. Hubby directly ask him about my in law's condition. The doctor did not directly answer. Instead, he turned back and accompanied us to the ICU at the level 2 (if I'm not mistaken). He brought my husband sat quietly in a corner, and said "Your father has just died a few minutes ago". My husband could only say "Allahuakhbar" while crying. I also cry because it's so surprised. We then entered the ICU room. My mother-in-law, sister and brother in law all been there with sadness.

We left that night to bring the arwah back to Keningau to be buried. We arrived in Keningau at about 11.00pm. Relatives and the villagers are waiting for us.

To the beloved Deceased Mokhtar Daud;

We really miss you Abah. One thing I was very sad, He cannot get to see and hold his first grandchild. May the Spirit of grace from God be with him and placed him among those who believe. Amiiiin .. Al-Fatihah.