3rd February

Was even a year my father-in-law had died. I remember the incident today in the last year. Early morning, My SIL has called me. She delivered a call from Dr. Willian A/k Timmothy a kind of bad news. She was in haste to come home and told me that we all need to SMC, Damai ASAP. I told her that my hubby was still at school. I suggested that she leave before and i'll catch up with my hubby. My hubby can't be call because his school was in rural areas. No phone network.

I was keep wondering how is my in-law at that time. I continue waiting for my hubby with anxiety. In at 2.00pm and then, my hubby arrived. I keep telling this to him and we continue proceed to Kota Kinabalu. Before leaving my SIL has remind to me, to convey the news with good. Do not let him rush. Afraid my husband will drive fast, and also for the good of my pregnancy, which at that time almost 5 months.

Along the way, my hubby ask me to call my SIL to ask about my in-law's condition. I tried to calm him. Our journey is full of question marks. We arrived at Putatan about 4.00pm, but due to the traffic jammed, we caught up almost at 5.00pm.

when we dropped to SMC Damai, we accidentally met the doctor who treated my in-law. Hubby directly ask him about my in law's condition. The doctor did not directly answer. Instead, he turned back and accompanied us to the ICU at the level 2 (if I'm not mistaken). He brought my husband sat quietly in a corner, and said "Your father has just died a few minutes ago". My husband could only say "Allahuakhbar" while crying. I also cry because it's so surprised. We then entered the ICU room. My mother-in-law, sister and brother in law all been there with sadness.

We left that night to bring the arwah back to Keningau to be buried. We arrived in Keningau at about 11.00pm. Relatives and the villagers are waiting for us.

To the beloved Deceased Mokhtar Daud;

We really miss you Abah. One thing I was very sad, He cannot get to see and hold his first grandchild. May the Spirit of grace from God be with him and placed him among those who believe. Amiiiin .. Al-Fatihah.

I AM TOTALLY MOMMY.

Peace be with you....

It been a long time past I didn't sign in my Blog. Im gettin BZ with my routine to my Son and hubby...Lots of work to do then. This is the mOm Rules. :).

Remind my last status as wife, not yet the Mom, I will always post the status of my boringness in my FB wall. But now.!...neaaaahh...baru ko tau Bebe...I need to wake up early morn, because baby Dani woke early morn, macam mo prepare him self to school. Kalah abah dia. He woke, while his abah still buat taie mata. Dani is the alarm. Heeeheee....Love Dani.

Now I am the fulltime housewife. Can't leave Dani because he still B'Feeding. Now, Dani was 6 months, almost 7 months this cumin' 7 February. He's weight is 9.14kg in his 6 months. Now, tidak tau la berapa. I am happy with Dani punya berat yang always goin to top. And now, He got 2 teeth below and will be 2 again di atas. I Love his smiling. It cheer me up. ERm...tidak habis-habis cerita saya pasal anak ba kan. Heheheh..I Love to talk about him actually.Love Dani so much..MMmwuah!!!! anak umi....

another story...

Last year, I've got an interview with SPP for the post of PT in AKS. That was...21 Dec 2010. Still waiting for the result. I keep both of the result GOOD. If I got it pun OK...If Not also OK...I can keep my baby well. I'm not rather letting him to the baby sitter. I'm afraid of the bad news about Nanny. But If the Luck is mine, I need to find my related to keep him. Tidak berani ambil orang lain. Susah juga kalau Mommy sudah ni. I can't be far from him. Hmmm.......mana-mana saja lah...

He is now my reality

Ding dong....

Blogging after keep silent for several weeks of my delivering. Praise to God, Im safe delivering my 1st baby on 07/07/2010, at 2.01am. It is my very-very historical date and time, which I deliver a baby. My baby boy. FYI, im blogging, with my baby on my left hand, and the right typing. That is what the first time mother doing..maybe. For the reason, you won't let your baby away from you. I want to share my experience about delivering, but the time didn't allow me to do that so... So, I share some of the pictures, and I will talk about my delivering experience, in the next time. Just to let Fellas know, Im successfully, deliver a baby boy. His name is Muhammad Kamiel Danish (My husband give the name) weight, 3.16kg. I call him, Baby Dani...

about 1 hours after deliver

Less than 1 day.

Baby Dani's 1 week.

Counting, Counting, Counting..

Counting...

Any of the first pregnancy Mommy will face the same thing. From the date you were identified as PREGNANT, you'll counting the day to the due you were expected to deliver. It was to me now. My EDD was in 5 July, which is several days from my blogging date today.

I am waiting for the signs of birth, which I don't know how it was as well, as long as this is my first pregnancy. Some of Mom said, there will be some kind like mucus with blood will come out from 'IT' or the liquid. And when the liquid came out, that is danger which is needed you rushing to hospital to avoid from the baby drowning.

Actually, I was scared of, imagining the construction, which is much pain. I am scared of the situation by that time, which never cross in mind...undescribe, how painful the PAIN is...GOD...and the things, dilating to 10CM, OMG!.

Don't know how to prepare..but, as long I see the others, which is physically small, petite than me, did it well. So, why I can't??? huhh...erm....I pray to God, May the Labouring process going smooth. And I am waiting to enter the Delivering Room..wait for me..here I come... Don't know when...

p/s: Ladies Fellas, maybe you never think about this thing, but since you will and get married soon, you will talking the same thing like mine. :)..will wait for your blog about the pregnancy, The Morning sickness, The Labour..and many things. Don't forget to share...will waiting...

my inner...

I Don't know why. It's annoying me. Frankly, Im Jelousy. I don't know, it is damn me instead, it is normal to anyone. I Hate the feeling. I wanted to be more relax, didn't care much about the others advantage. The advantage, that made me want it to be mind. How selfish I am... I Hate it actually. I Just wanted to be someone freely from the feeling that ruining myself soon.

I want to smile all of the time..so they won't see me lika an arrogant. I wanted to be nice as the other see me nice for their first expectation and so on. I don't want to be judged by my arrogant face. Huuhhh...I wanted to be happy all the time by making the others happy and comfort with me. I want to appreciate all the time with my Love, want to potret all the precious time together. So, the time will be remind forever, as we never know how long we can breath and Live in this world.

I wanted to sit and have a long chitchat while Laughing with my family, siblings especially... ooo...How I miss my Family... Since I get married, I am not living with them like before. I have my own responsible to my own family...the others, that need more commitment. As I am married since last year, and now Im pregnant, my time it too short with my parents and siblings. Most of the time, I miss them so bad. Only God knows.

Hopefully, my future new baby born *lest than 3 weeks*, will bring the happiness to me. How I wish my silent world, will ending ASAP. I am Jelous to the others life which is blast of Story and Funny things. I mean, the happiness. And I mean it soo... The fact is, Money Doesn't Buy Happiness.

Worried Mom

Im Still Working in My 36 weeks of pregnancy...:)..Even my muscle was cramp while naik tangga yang tinggi... Ya la...all the experience Mom said, "bagus lagi banyak jalan before beranak".Then I did it. Hopefuly it will work...

I am sigh of my HB actually. The last 2 weeks before, it is 8.7HB and the next Doctor review it only added 0.1. So, it is only 8.8HB. The Doctor which is New Doctor said "kenapa darah ko macam ni saja ni? kalau beginilah darah ko sampai ko mo beranak, beranak, terus mati". nanti 2 minggu lagi ko ambil darah sini ar...kalau masih juga rendah, mo jarum la di Butt ko". WOW!!!...You Shot my Ulu Hati o...punyalah saya sakit hati kena cakap macam tu. I never wanted it happen to me so ba...sepa juga mau ada masalah kan. Then She ask me pigi di Hospital Lab, untuk ambil darah for the second time.

Recall the day, it's tickle me, when my eyes going to drop some tears, while the Lab Official Inject me and took my blood. My Hubby then said "nda sakit baitu...". The others take eyes of me, and I saw one of them smile. Mengijiiikkk....

Ermm....I Pray to you God, Please convey me the angel to shield me from all the danger...may All the way is Light...Amin...