my inner...

I Don't know why. It's annoying me. Frankly, Im Jelousy. I don't know, it is damn me instead, it is normal to anyone. I Hate the feeling. I wanted to be more relax, didn't care much about the others advantage. The advantage, that made me want it to be mind. How selfish I am... I Hate it actually. I Just wanted to be someone freely from the feeling that ruining myself soon.

I want to smile all of the time..so they won't see me lika an arrogant. I wanted to be nice as the other see me nice for their first expectation and so on. I don't want to be judged by my arrogant face. Huuhhh...I wanted to be happy all the time by making the others happy and comfort with me. I want to appreciate all the time with my Love, want to potret all the precious time together. So, the time will be remind forever, as we never know how long we can breath and Live in this world.

I wanted to sit and have a long chitchat while Laughing with my family, siblings especially... ooo...How I miss my Family... Since I get married, I am not living with them like before. I have my own responsible to my own family...the others, that need more commitment. As I am married since last year, and now Im pregnant, my time it too short with my parents and siblings. Most of the time, I miss them so bad. Only God knows.

Hopefully, my future new baby born *lest than 3 weeks*, will bring the happiness to me. How I wish my silent world, will ending ASAP. I am Jelous to the others life which is blast of Story and Funny things. I mean, the happiness. And I mean it soo... The fact is, Money Doesn't Buy Happiness.

Worried Mom

Im Still Working in My 36 weeks of pregnancy...:)..Even my muscle was cramp while naik tangga yang tinggi... Ya la...all the experience Mom said, "bagus lagi banyak jalan before beranak".Then I did it. Hopefuly it will work...

I am sigh of my HB actually. The last 2 weeks before, it is 8.7HB and the next Doctor review it only added 0.1. So, it is only 8.8HB. The Doctor which is New Doctor said "kenapa darah ko macam ni saja ni? kalau beginilah darah ko sampai ko mo beranak, beranak, terus mati". nanti 2 minggu lagi ko ambil darah sini ar...kalau masih juga rendah, mo jarum la di Butt ko". WOW!!!...You Shot my Ulu Hati o...punyalah saya sakit hati kena cakap macam tu. I never wanted it happen to me so ba...sepa juga mau ada masalah kan. Then She ask me pigi di Hospital Lab, untuk ambil darah for the second time.

Recall the day, it's tickle me, when my eyes going to drop some tears, while the Lab Official Inject me and took my blood. My Hubby then said "nda sakit baitu...". The others take eyes of me, and I saw one of them smile. Mengijiiikkk....

Ermm....I Pray to you God, Please convey me the angel to shield me from all the danger...may All the way is Light...Amin...